For a list of questions click on Resources and download a PDF file

What is the most pressing issue on your heart?

I realize this takes courage to confront the brutal facts and humility to receive the truth but this is the first order of any leader. We must detect reality. It is only when we discover God’s reality that we can align ourselves to a daily plan for success. Satan would try to side track us daily, his plan of strategy goes something like this:

1. Get us to believe he doesn’t exist or is not a factor in our problems. He wants us to believe the reality of his world that we see with our eyes.
2. Intimidates us to keep us from obeying God. He intimidates us to go along with the World’s system and be a follower vs. a leader. Might men of valor & ladies of valor.
3. If intimidation doesn’t work then he tries to compromise with us, “I’ll back off if you will”
4. We have no reason to deal with the devil, “Greater is He that is in us than he that is in the world”

We are to “fight the good fight of faith,” overcome evil with good, this is God’s awesome strategy that never misses. How can we overcome evil with good and hit the mark of God’s glory. We have three wonderful tools that will help us course correct in our strategy and find oneness of spirit, soul, and body. They are simple tools that if used wisely will build a Noble Partnership

1. Praise – the little things that your are grateful for. Attitudes change with Gratitude.
2. Blessing – know no man after the flesh but after the Spirit. Recognize and bless Christ in one another. Blessing for Curses
3. Reproof – use wisely, gently through the use of word pictures and stories.

Make it a safe place to have Courageous Conversations. The goal is not to resolve an issue but to have a safe place to share your heart and to hear the heart of your partner. Remember to use the talking stick, “What I hear you saying is…” The goal is Intimacy “In-to-me-see.” See from your partners frame of reference and don’t move on until they are satisfied that you understand them. Go through all seven questions listening to your partner and then you can switch and hear the others heart. Do not interject your thoughts, excuses, explanations or opinions. Your responsibility is to hear and see from your partners perspective, to give mercy and separate the wheat from the chaff so they are not afraid to share anything in your presence. Then when it is your turn to share, do it softly, a soft answer breaks a bone, do it with truth, facts and not your editorialized version or story of what you think the facts add up to. I would recommend that you do a study on www.blueletterbible.org on mercy and truth. Just type in the search results for the words “mercy truth” and research all God says about the power of these two factors in our lives.

Practice with other peoples pressing issues:

1. What do you think the most pressing issue of our child is?
2. Is there anything else?
3. How is it currently affeting them?
4. What will the future be like if nothing changes?
5. What is our responsibility for this issue?
6. What is their responsibility for this issue?
7. What would be the preferable future?
8. What is the most powerful thing we can believe God to do?
9. What is the one thing we cannot fail to do?
10. What would be the next wisest step?

Matthew 18 and Proverbs 18 have a lot to say about having Courageous Conversations. I would be interested in hearing some consequences of having a Courageous Conversation.

• You will show Honor by being mutually interested in having the conversation
• You will gain Understanding by using the seven questions
• You will build trust by using the talking Stick

May your love abound yet more and more in all knowledge and all judgment.

Your Servant in Christ,
Chris Hogan

Posted by Chris Hogan on Thursday, March 17, 2005 at 19:28 PM