This article is a survey response I received from the Conzatti children, a special family.

A father (or mother) is or becomes a credible messenger of God when…

1. He has experienced success in gaining wisdom and handling conflict

None of us are credible messengers all the time. I think what gives a person credibility is his or her experience or success in the area in which he desires to give counsel. However, this is tricky because we’ll never experience a situation exactly like that of another person. There will always be different variables. However, I feel that a father is credible when he builds a history of handling conflict God’s way and seeking wisdom from the Lord. If a person realizes that he does not have all the answers, but has experienced something similar to my problem, I’ll be open to his sharing, but I won’t be able to completely trust him until I see it prove true in my life. Credibility comes when the advice is proven through experience. If I receive advice from someone, and it works, I’ll be more open to receiving advice another time.

2. He proves his trustworthiness by admitting faults and allowing God to refine Him

I want to be sure that I can trust a person with my problems. If a person is open about his struggles, even if they don’t compare with mine, I will feel more comfortable entrusting that person with my problems, because they will be less likely to respond pridefully. A credible messenger is one who knows he does not have all the answers, but knows the One who does. Teachers are judged more strictly than others, so those who want to be credible messengers of God need to be prepared for that. How do they respond when someone points out their faults? Do they admit that there is a problem, and share how God is working on it, or do they defend? If someone defends his weaknesses, how can you respect them when they are telling you that you must fix your own weaknesses?

3. He delivers God’s truth (with love)

A person may be the worst person, yet still be a credible messenger of God. The Lord used a donkey as a credible messenger to Balaam. Rahab lived a disreputable life, yet was a credible messenger of God to the spies. The Lord Jesus sent fishermen and tax collectors to spread His Gospel. Ultimately, what is important is that the message you are giving is from God. A credible messenger is one who delivers God’s truth to others. It is also important for a credible messenger to demonstrate love for his audience, whether it is his family, or whoever God is sending the message to. If a person delivers truth, but does not have love, then his spirit and his words send conflicting messages, and the listener has trouble receiving the message. In 1 Corinthians 13, it says that this clash of messages is akin to a clanging gong or crashing cymbals. However, God can even use one who does not love his audience to send his message. Jonah did not love the Ninevites, yet he was a credible messenger, and his audience accepted his message.

h3. What can cause a father (or mother) to lose credibility as God’s messenger?

1. When he places his own interests above the interests of those to whom he is delivering his message

When a person puts his own interests first, above those he is counseling, or above God’s direction, he loses credibility. A person who is self-focused does not have God’s authority and power behind his words, because God demonstrates regard for others to the denial of Himself. When the Pharisees tried to twist the law to serve their own self-interest, Jesus accused them of being hypocritical (in other words, not credible messengers). If a father reveres following outward rules and principles above the best interests of his family, he may lose his credibility with them, and it may result in rebellion, which would lead to further loss of credibility with others.

2. When he is not walking in the light of Christ’s forgiveness and grace

(Refer to 1 John) When a person is walking in the light, he is in fellowship with the Lord and with others. The lines of communication are open both ways, and he can receive truth from God and give God’s message to others, while being able to receive God’s message from others as well. However, when a person is walking in darkness (deception) or sin (without repentance or without accepting forgiveness and grace) he cannot have fellowship with God. If a person is not walking in light (Christ’s righteousness that comes from His forgiveness) how can he receive God’s truth to give to others? A credible messenger needs to be constantly laying his sin and selfishness at the foot of the cross to receive forgiveness and cleansing, while accepting God’s grace to walk in the freedom of that forgiveness in righteousness. Those who choose to remain in bondage to any sin, deception, idol, or addiction will continually struggle in trying to build and maintain credibility if they do not allow Christ to set them free.

3. When he fails to be truthful

In order to be a credible messenger, a parent needs to not only give truth, but live it. His words and life need to agree. Another way to demonstrate God’s truth is to practice consistency. If a parent is not consistent in his direction, he will lose credibility. If direction is based on feelings, whim, or changes when challenged, it will be difficult to accept his direction and authority.

List three ways a parent can restore credibility:

1. Apologize and humbly ask for forgiveness when he fails to live up to God’s standard
2. Demonstrating repentance through commitment to walking in the light and making wise choices in his own life first
3. Sincere love covers a multitude of wrongs

Posted by Chris Hogan on Wednesday, February 28, 2007 at 09:27 AM