He who understands the heart, wins the heart!

One of the most effective tools we can use to understand the heart is to ask wise questions. A father endears himself to his son or daughter, not by parading how interesting he is, but by being interested. A crucial role in fatherhood is drawing out the depths of your child through wise questions and by earnestly listening to their heart, not just their words. When a father takes the time to understand and draw out the soul of his son or daughter, their family will experience genuine harmony and fellowhip. As fathers, we can represent the character of Christ to our children, who is able to give ultimate security and joy. Our children will then be able to say “I will be glad and rejoice in thy mercy: for thou hast considered my trouble; thou hast known my soul in adversities” (Psalm 31:7-8).

Because God has written His counsel on the hearts of our children, we need to be men of understanding, drawing out their heart with prudent and tender questions. As you do this, patiently wait for them to ponder these questions in their heart so they can discover what and how God is working in them. (See Phil 2:13.)

“Counsel in the heart of man is deep and a man of understanding draws it out” (Proverbs 20:5).

My friend, Geoff Botkin, reworked the Courageous Conversation questions into a more user-friendly format that he uses with his daughters and sons.

1. What is your biggest concern right now?
2. What is this doing to you?
3. What will the future be like if nothing changes?
4. How can Daddy help? What is my responsibility?
5. What is your responsibility?
6. What do think the Lord wants the future to look like?
7. What must we do now to make this happen, together?

You can read more about Geoff Botkin’s daughters, Anna Sofia and Elizabeth, at Visionary Daughters

When I ask for my daughters to give me their heart, I need to be prepared to care for them because their biggest question after giving me their heart is “What are you going to do with it?”

You can read more on how to answer this question by reading Christy Wright’s article Winning a Daughter’s Heart

You can read more on how Christy’s father learned the value of courageous conversations A Father’s Testimony

Posted by Administrator on Thursday, June 14, 2007 at 04:37 AM